The Untimely Loss of Reason
by StillThunder86
Summary: The remote to a doomsday device has fallen into the hands of evil. And Donatello will do whatever it takes to get it back.


**Disclaimer: **TMNT does not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. But a girl can dream, right?

**A/N**: What do you do in a week where your cheeks have been grabbed as you are being congratulated on your skills as a corporate doormat, have gotten your butt chewed out at work, had an epic battle with a telemarketer, and threw dedication to the diet in the trash. If you're like me, you dig out your reserve Special Dark chocolate bar, crank your head phones to Ear Drum Meltdown Mode, and write out a little nonsense. And here is the result.

Hopefully, this will bring you a laugh and that'll just make my day!

The Untimely Loss of Reason

Brick erupted with a network of spider-web cracks beneath the turtle's shell. Donatello groaned and slid down, landing on his neck and shoulders. His eye cracked to the broad man who was laughing at him from the across the room. Big Tony lightly tapped a fist into his palm and jerked his chin in the ninja's direction. Three of his lackey's ran after Donnie as he rolled to his side and touched a finger to his headset.

"Hey, Leo? _Please_ tell me you found something."

A wave of static was followed by a deeply uttered curse. Then Leo's words broke through the haze. "Uh, yeah, we just got here, Don, but - whoo, I think maybe you should have been on the bomb squad."

He lunged to his feet to block a wild swing and batted a knife out of the hand. "It's big then?"

"Well…" Great. High, hesitant voice equals the freaking thing is _huge_. "Are you sure it can only be triggered by remote?"

"According to the blueprints we hacked," Donnie replied, ramming his foot off another man's chest. He ducked a fist aimed at his head. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't start throwing _rocks_ or anything at it."

"Raph? Raph, don't touch -" Don winced as a crash blasted through his skull. A second later, he rolled his eyes as his older brother's distant cursing filled the ear piece.

"Tell me that wasn't associated with the bomb, Leo."

"No, it wasn't the bomb," the leader snapped, curtly. "How fast can you and Mike get here?"

"Working on it." He flipped forward and caught up his discarded bo. He spun the staff as he landed and thrust it upward, connecting with the underside of the final henchman's jaw. The man went down with a muffled howl. "Leo, I'm going to give you a call back, bye!"

He disconnected and darted from the moaning figures, heading to the main section of the opulent office. Big Tony lingered near his desk, glaring with disdain as Mikey happily wiped the floor with his goons. He made a face and reached inside his coat.

Don threw himself forward. "Hey! Hey, Tony!" The man glanced over and blinked. Though, whether he was surprised to see the ninja back on his feet or it was the sight of Donnie covered from head to toe by bits of brick and dust, he never clarified. Don crouched low with his bo cocked back like a lance.

"It's over, Tony. My brother's have found your little bomb and…and they are dismantling it as we speak!" Lies to bad guys don't count, right? "So…so that's that. It's over and no one is having fun anymore!"

"Yeeeee-hah-hah-hah!" Mikey crowed from the middle of his fight.

Donnie shook his head. "Except for him." Good grief, this is why Leo was the spokesman of the group.

Tony cocked his head, skeptically. "I don't think your little buddies have found anything. Even if they had, they can't shut it down before the mayor runs out of time. And if I don't get my money, turtle-boy, half the city's going under water!"

Donatello slowly lowered the bo to his shoulder. "Look, we both know that I'm about to kick your butt. You'll put up a fight, sure, but it all ends with you out cold on the floor and waiting on the authorities to whisk you off to jail. So, why don't we skip all the fighting, you hand over the bomb's detonator, and we'll both take a pass on the morning aches and pains for tomorrow?" He shrugged. "How's that sound?"

Tony threw back his head with a blast of laughter. "Are you kidding, freak? I got the city in the palm of my hand with this baby." He patted the pocket of his overcoat. "I ain't handing over - ugh!"

The end of the bo staff sank deep into his belly and Tony doubled over in surprise. His vision filled with an olive colored fist and he landed across his desk. A deep grunt pulled from him as Donatello landed on his chest. The turtle grabbed the coat and thrust his hand into the man's coat pocket. His fingers closed around a small, cool cube. Grinning, he yanked it free and touched a finger to his brow in salute.

"Warned you." He leaped towards Mikey.

A beefy hand clamped about his ankle and Donnie's momentum swung him downward to smack off the front of the solid desk. Tony, still wheezing from the blow to his gut, slithered to land on top of him. Don was smashed flat, striking his chin off the floor. He sucked in a ragged breath as Tony grabbed at his wrist. "Give that…back, freak!"

Donnie stretched his hand out as far as he could while he squirmed and kicked to be free of the toppled mountain. "Come up…with an original insult…and maybe I'll consider it!"

They grappled with each other until they'd gained their feet. Tony yanked the cube towards himself, Donnie wrenched it back. Their arms went down as if they were dancing a bizarre version of the tango, then whipped upwards. The small cube sailed through the window and went tumbling towards the street.

"Holy!" Tony shouted, grabbing Don and crushing him to his chest.

His earpiece crackled to life as his head was smashed against a horrid maroon tie. "Leo, noooo!"

Seconds ticked by. Then half a minute. A light brown eye and a hazel eye peeked towards the calm drapes.

Leo's unsure voice filled his ear. "Yes, Donnie? You need something?"

"Shouldn't we be sliding into the ocean by now?" Tony wondered.

Donatello shoved out of his grip, scooped up the bo, and swung it around to the side of the big man's head. Tony went down, landing on his face beside the desk. Don panted and jabbed a finger at him. "That's for not taking the high road!" He spun around and grabbed the nearest unconscious goon. "Mikey, how are you holding up?"

His brother looked up with a bright smile. "Most fun I've had all week! What's with the panicked screams from your end?"

"I'll tell you later," Donnie said, shaking the man out of his suit jacket. He grabbed the goon's hat too, wrinkling his nose against a heavy blast of cheap hair gel. "I'm going to get the detonator. Are you all right to finish up here?"

Mikey's fist pumped the air. "Leftovers! It isn't even Thanksgiving!"

"Oh, Donatelloooo," Leo sang in his ear. "Are you on your way?"

"Still working on it!" he snapped. "Mikey, I'll meet you downstairs."

"I'll be there!"

Don sprang for the window facing the neighboring building. He shrugged into the coat, tucked the hat beneath his arm, and dove through the open frame. He caught himself in a one-handed handstand on the fire escape's railing. He paused for a breath before his weight rocked backwards and pushed off, flipping down between the buildings. He landed in the alley with a tiny puff of dust about his feet.

He blinked and looked up to the top story before throwing up his hands. "Oh, sure, no one's around to see me do _that_."

Pulling the hat down to shield his features, he snuck towards the brightly lit street. It _would_ have to be daytime when a psycho took the city hostage. Don eased into the shadow of the building as a pair of teenage girls flounced by. He peeked out. People were milling about the street, but it certainly wasn't busy. Hopefully, everyone would be too absorbed in their own affairs to notice a five foot nine turtle had suddenly joined the populace. He slunk out into the open and trotted across the empty sidewalk. He cocked his head back to check the window and spun in a circle. Where the heck did it - ?

He glanced up and his jaw fell. A young boy was walking away from him, rolling the cube between his fingers. His head bobbed to a song in his headphones.

"Small child!" Donnie shouted, running after him. He was ignored. He caught the boy by his shoulder, yanking the headphones off. "Hey, hey, listen -"

"Oh! Oh!" The boy twisted and shoved Donnie's chest, popping himself backward instead of moving the turtle. "What, man? What? You wanna start something? Do you? Do you?" He bobbed around, throwing out his arms and taking short lunges forward.

Donnie wrinkled his beak and caught him by the forehead. He pressed down until the boy couldn't jump anymore. "Ease up, quick draw. Look, that cube you have is mine."

Instantly, the boy's face hardened. He whipped his fist behind his back. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Donnie held out his hand, "So…come on, give it here."

"Finders keepers, loser."

"Finders…for real?" Don straightened, releasing the boy's head. He forced a smile. "Look, kid, you don't want that cube."

"What is it?"

"It's…" Donnie rolled his hands, shrugging. "It's a paperweight…for…a birthday present…It's my girlfriend's birthday paperweight. How's that?"

Shrewd brown eyes narrowed. "You don't have a girlfriend."

Don blinked at the acid in the boy's voice. "I do too. Why else would I buy her a paperweight?"

"No girl would go out with a guy who smelled like you."

"That's hair gel from the hat. It's not mine."

"What about the porta-potty smell?"

"Whoa," Donnie stepped back and lifted a warning finger. "Hey, I keep that to a minimum. Most people miss it."

"I can smell it. Girls wouldn't like that smell."

Don hiked up the collar of the coat, painfully aware of the sun and every person lingering on the street. "You're like five, what do you know about girls?"

Fury flashed across the young face. "I'm eight and shut-up."

"You shut-up."

"You."

"You, infinite -" Donnie smacked his forehead. "I don't have time for this! Give it back right now."

The kid sneered and cocked his head. "No way, it's mine."

"Actually, it's not so much!"

Donnie glanced aside as another figure trotted up to them. Mikey beamed as he shifted his own coat into place. "Did you get it?"

"The kid won't give it up!" Don shouted. Mikey fell back a pace and looked at the opposition with a raised brow.

The boy began backing away, tossing the cube back and forth. Don and Mikey tensed, raising their hands as he did so. "If it's so special, what'll you losers give me for it?"

"Hey!" Mikey snapped, "We aren't gonna be blackmailed by a six-year old!"

"I'm eight!"

"Really? Geez, you're short." Rage danced across the boy's face as the younger turtle shrugged. "Whatever. You can't just go around picking detonators up off the street and then blackmailing people. That's nothing but poor lifestyle choices."

The kid paused with a frown. "Detonator? I thought -"

"It's a paperweight!" Donnie snarled.

Mikey glanced to his brother. "Say what?"

"Okay, you know what? Enough is enough." Don made a lunge for the cube.

The boy snaked his arm out over his head, then back down, behind his jacket, weaving it around himself as Donnie tried, futilely to catch his hand. "You can't take this from me! I'm a kid! Let go, you big jerk!"

"No, you let go!"

"You!"

"_You_, how 'bout?"

Mikey tapped his brother on the shoulder, "Um, Donnie?"

A small foot lashed out and connected with Don's knee. The boy's face scrunched up. "Owww!"

Donnie grinned, wickedly. "Knee pads!"

"Donatello?"

Mike was ignored, however, as his brother and the boy began to spin, turning around each other like a pair of fighting dogs. The cube suddenly became an unfortunate knot in a vicious game of tug-of-war. The boy shouted inarticulate insults while Donnie's mouth worked, soundless, though the look in his eyes grew more and more ugly.

"Donnie?" Mikey asked, gently.

His brother gave a low growl and finally clamped his hand around the smaller wrist, while the other firmly peeled the fingers back. The cube shot into the air and Donatello snagged it, allowing the boy to stumble backwards and hit his rear on the sidewalk.

"Bam!" Donnie barked, waving the cube at his opponent. "In your _face_!"

Mikey stared at his brother as if he'd never seen him before. "Don?"

"What?" He turned, slightly breathless.

His brother jerked a thumb to the street. "People are watching."

Donatello and the boy looked towards the curious faces turned their way. An nasty smile crept over the boy's face. He threw his head back, pointed at Don and began to wail. "Stranger danger! Mommy, I'm scared!"

"_What_?" Mikey shrieked.

Four men started their way. Donnie hissed and spun back to the kid. "Oh, you…evil little gnat! I…I…it's still in your face!"

He grabbed Mikey's wrist and took off, sprinting down the street and ducking into another alley. They hopped a few fences, snuck through the back of a department store, and finally slowed about a mile away.

Donnie walked with the detonator held before him and a shocked look blanking his eyes. Mikey went in silence for about thirty seconds and then shook his head.

"We're going to end up on the news. Leo's gonna kill us, then he's going to give us to Raph and he'll _really_ kill us." Donnie shot him a worried look. "Then Leo'll kill us again before handing us off to Master Splinter…Good grief, Donnie, what are we going to tell _him_?"

He got a sheepish smile. "We…we got what we went to get. We saved the city." He opened his hands to reveal the prize.

"Yeah, but I'm still trying to process _how_ that just happened. I mean, you threw down with a kid, Don." He sucked a breath through his teeth. "I mean, that was…different. Two ninjas against a six-year-old_, _this has gotta be some sort of low record for us."

"He was eight, you know."

Mikey stuck out his lip. "I don't think sensei's going to care."

Donatello sighed. "Well, he started it."

"Again, the understanding is just not on our side." He looked up at the narrow strip of blue sky. "I think it's one of those things where you had to be there...heck, I _was_ there and I still don't believe it!"

The inventor shook his head and tucked the cube into his belt. "Come on, little brother. We still have a bomb to defuse." He picked up his pace and rolled his eyes as Mikey passed him, running backward so he could frown at him.

"I mean, you said _bam_ of all things, Donnie. _Bam_."

* * *

><p>* Aaah, well, there it is. There is a follow-up little scene to this, if you guys are interested. As always…your thoughts, please?<p> 


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